My Story

Monday, December 5, 2011

A Gift From Riley

I realized today what a precious gift my son Riley has given me.


A new level of FRIENDSHIP that I couldn't have known before.

I am certain that God placed pivotal people in my life,

at just the right time,

to carry me through my grief.

Through it.

They carry me even today.

And the network continues. With the advances in technology, grieving families can now find other families in similar situations with a click of a mouse.

There's incredible comfort in knowing you're not alone.

At first, we are carried. Then, we are able to carry.

And surprisingly, without knowing it, as we are being comforted...

the ability to hold the hand of another grieving mom brings comfort in it's self.

I think for me, it's more than just FRIENDSHIP. I feel it's a calling. A purpose.

I'm intrigued to see where this journey leads.

And it's all because of Riley.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Everything is God's

These are some beautiful flowers given to me from my SIL Denise for Riley's birthday. Tomorrow he would be 4 years old. It's such a nice gesture to have someone remember him even as the years pass.

Today's sermon was about money. God is amazing how He speaks to us in a way that only He can. Money...that was the topic, but the message I received was so much deeper.

Colossians 1:16
"...God created everything...
Everything was created through him and for him."

The point made about money, was that it's all God's. HE is the one that made it. HE is the one that gives it to us. It's HIS. He has just loaned it to us.

But the scripture spoke to me because it says that EVERYTHING was created by Him and for Him. Everything. Even our children. They aren't "ours". They are His. He created them. And he loans them to us, for however long that may be.

When I look at Riley's life in that light, it makes me more THANKFUL for the time God loaned him to me, as opposed to angry or hurt for the short time he was here. I am eternally grateful for the 9 months God loaned Riley to me. What an honor. It's an honor to be Ty & Drew's mom as well, for however long they are loaned to me.


Tuesday, January 18, 2011

What Not To Say

Today a friend of mine lost her baby. My heart aches for her and her family.

After my experience with miscarriage, then stillbirth with Riley, I thought I would have an incredible insight on how to comfort moms experiencing similar pain. What I have found though, is that no words can comfort a grieving mother. However, well-meaning words can be hurtful. Even I, who knows what words were hurtful to me, find myself word vomiting in the awkwardness of the situation. To fill the space, we say things we're "supposed to say" like: "This was all for a reason" or "They are in Heaven now" or "What can I do for you?". While those things may be true, they don't comfort.

So for anyone reading this, please check out this article written on What Not To Say.

And remember that it's not your words, but your actions & your presence (even months & years later) that really comfort.